Funny Anniversary Quotes

"By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
Socrates

"Marriage: a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose."
Beverly Nichols

"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?"
Anonymous

"Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event."
Oscar Wilde

"Marriage is the perfection of what love aimed at, ignorant of what it sought."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Then there was a man who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late.'"
Anonymous

"My wife and I were happy for 20 years - then we met."
Rodney Dangerfield

"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."
Henry Youngman

"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."
Anonymous

"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."
Milton Berle

Funny Life Quotes - Funny Quotes about Life : www.basicjokes.com

Funny Life Quotes - Funny Quotes about Life

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
More funny Anonymous quotes

*** Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.
More funny Carl Sandburg quotes

*** Life is just a phase you're going through...you'll get over it.
More funny Anonymous quotes

*** There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
More funny Oscar Wilde quotes

*** Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
More funny Jean-Paul Sartre quotes

*** An autobiography is the story of how a man thinks he lived.
More funny Herbert Samuel quotes

*** The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat.
More funny Lilly Tomlin quotes

*** For most men life is a search for the proper manilla envelope in which to get themselves filed.
More funny Clifton Fadiman quotes

*** Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
More funny Brendan Gill quotes

*** Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first.
More funny Benjamin Franklin quotes

*** No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.
More funny Sholom Aleichem quotes

*** There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them.
More funny Lawrence Welk quotes

*** You know, it's a long world.
More funny Lawrence Welk quotes

*** The basic rule of human nature is that powerful people speak slowly and subservient people quickly -- because if they don't speak fast nobody will listen to them.
More funny Michael Caine quotes

*** Life is like a game of poker: If you don't put any in the pot, there won't be any to take out.
More funny Moms Mabley quotes

*** It's possible, you can never know, that the universe exists only for me. If so, it's sure going well for me, I must admit.
More funny Bill Gates quotes

*** Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
More funny Will Rogers quotes

*** When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
More funny Mark Twain quotes

*** Born to be wild - live to outgrow it.
More funny Lao Tzu quotes

*** Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim
More funny Bertrand Russell quotes

*** Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
More funny Truman Capote quotes

*** Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination.
More funny Christopher Isherwood quotes

*** [I]nstead of holding on to the Biblical view that we are made in the image of God, we come to realize that we are made in the image of the monkey[.] - From The Importance of Living (1937)
More funny Lin Yutang quotes

*** The cost of living's going up, and the chance of livin's going down.
More funny Flip Wilson quotes

*** After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say "I WANT TO SEE THE MANAGER."
More funny Willliam S. Burroughs quotes

*** You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.
More funny Chris Rock quotes

*** Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink.
More funny Shunryu Suzuki Roshi quotes

*** Nothing matters very much, and very few things matter at all.
More funny Arthur Balfour quotes

*** All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
More funny Sean O'Casey quotes

*** Life is so unlike theory.
More funny Anthony Trollope quotes

*** Life is like eating artichokes, you have got to go through so much to get so little.
More funny Thomas Aloysius Dorgan quotes

*** There must be more to life than having everything.
More funny Maurice Sendak quotes

*** Life is painful, nasty and short... in my case it has only been painful and nasty.
More funny Djuna Barnes quotes

*** Life is like a cobweb, not an organization chart.
More funny Ross Perot quotes

*** Life is a horizontal fall.
More funny Jean Cocteau quotes

*** In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
More funny Kathleen Norris quotes

*** I came into this world black, naked and ugly. And no matter how much I accumulate here, it's a short journey. I will go out of this world black, naked and ugly. So I enjoy life.
More funny Screamin' Jay Hawkins quotes

*** Life's more amusing than we thought.
More funny Andrew Lang quotes

*** A man should control his life. Mine is controlling me.
More funny Rudolph Valentino quotes

*** In the game of life, it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.
More funny Bill Vaughan quotes

*** Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?
More funny Bob Monkhouse quotes

*** Life is wasted on the living.
More funny Douglas Adams quotes

*** Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
More funny Douglas Adams quotes

*** Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
More funny Woody Allen quotes

*** Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
More funny Woody Allen quotes

*** Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
More funny Woody Allen quotes

*** Life is a zoo in a jungle.
More funny Peter De Vries quotes

Traveling > China funny

The Forbidden City, located at the center of Beijing municipality, was the seat of power for 24 emperors from 1406 to 1911. It took thousands of artisans and 14 years to complete the colossal complex spread over 720.000 square meters with 9.000 bays of halls and rooms which become a symbol of China’s monarchial grandeur built on the blood and sweat of its toiling peasantry. Significantly, however, the main entrance to the imperial city, Tiananmen or the Gate of Heavenly Peace, connects the past with the present in a curiously fatalistic manner.

Indeed, the wealth gap in Chinese society has increased phenomenally with the difference between the wealthiest and the poorest having risen from as much as four times in 1978 to almost 13 times today.

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