Funny Life Quotes - Funny Quotes about Life : www.basicjokes.com

Funny Life Quotes - Funny Quotes about Life

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
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*** Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.
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*** Life is just a phase you're going through...you'll get over it.
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*** There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
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*** Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
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*** An autobiography is the story of how a man thinks he lived.
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*** The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat.
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*** For most men life is a search for the proper manilla envelope in which to get themselves filed.
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*** Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
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*** Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first.
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*** No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.
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*** There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them.
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*** You know, it's a long world.
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*** The basic rule of human nature is that powerful people speak slowly and subservient people quickly -- because if they don't speak fast nobody will listen to them.
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*** Life is like a game of poker: If you don't put any in the pot, there won't be any to take out.
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*** It's possible, you can never know, that the universe exists only for me. If so, it's sure going well for me, I must admit.
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*** Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
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*** When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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*** Born to be wild - live to outgrow it.
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*** Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim
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*** Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
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*** Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination.
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*** [I]nstead of holding on to the Biblical view that we are made in the image of God, we come to realize that we are made in the image of the monkey[.] - From The Importance of Living (1937)
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*** The cost of living's going up, and the chance of livin's going down.
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*** After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say "I WANT TO SEE THE MANAGER."
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*** You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.
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*** Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink.
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*** Nothing matters very much, and very few things matter at all.
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*** All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
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*** Life is so unlike theory.
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*** Life is like eating artichokes, you have got to go through so much to get so little.
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*** There must be more to life than having everything.
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*** Life is painful, nasty and short... in my case it has only been painful and nasty.
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*** Life is like a cobweb, not an organization chart.
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*** Life is a horizontal fall.
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*** In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
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*** I came into this world black, naked and ugly. And no matter how much I accumulate here, it's a short journey. I will go out of this world black, naked and ugly. So I enjoy life.
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*** Life's more amusing than we thought.
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*** A man should control his life. Mine is controlling me.
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*** In the game of life, it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.
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*** Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?
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*** Life is wasted on the living.
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*** Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
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*** Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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*** Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
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*** Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
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*** Life is a zoo in a jungle.
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