Website Under Construction Joke

Looking up websites on infertility, I found an address that sounded interesting. I clicked on the link and was taken to a site that said, “This page is under construction.”
I looked closer and saw in smaller print: “Check back in nine months and see what we’ve accomplished.”

I bookmarked the addresss and went back several months later. Posted was a full-page picture of a beautiful nine-pound baby girl.

Frank Lampard Afraid Of Taking Penalties heheh

Monday, 31 May 2010

Three Lions on the chest, a million flies around the arse

There was a mixed reaction to England's storming 2-1 victory over Japan in their final warm-up game before the 2010 World Cup yesterday, as the sweet smell of success was tainted by the ghastly aroma of Frank Lampard shitting his pants over his penalty miss.

Lampard, who also missed a spot-kick in the FA Cup Final win over Portsmouth two weeks ago, seemed hesitant before his penalty yesterday, and scuffed one along the ground which even the crappy Jap goalie found it easy to parry.

According to an unnamed England team-mate, Lamps has confessed he is now afraid of taking penalty kicks.

In his post-match interview, England manager Fabio Capello wouldn't be drawn on who might be the team's chief penalty-taker during the tournament, but it's not likely to be the Chelsea player, who finished the game with a nasty big brown stain down the back of his shorts, and a swarm of flies following him around.

*www.thespoof.com

Heskey In, But No Room For Barn Door Or Banjo

Emile Heskey has yet again conned his way into an England squad for the upcoming World Cup in South Africa.

However, its not all sunshine and roses for Heskey. With the FA only able to afford a measly twenty three seats on the plane, there sadly won't be any room for Heskey's prized barn door or banjo, both an integral part of his strict training regime.

"I'm gutted, totally gutted," the barn door told reporters at it's exclusive country retreat near Walsall.

A distraught banjo was unavailable for comment and is said to be being comforted by friends in Solihull.

*thespoof.com